Sunday, August 16, 2015

Book Review: Siblings Without Rivalry

Siblings Without Rivalry, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish was an awesome read mashaAllah and I highly recommend it!  I was able to finish it in less than three days as it is an easy read because it is laid out in a format which narrates classes that the authors had conducted.  It also has comics as a bonus :p

Some interesting points that stuck in my mind were ...

*Having a sibling/sharing a parent can be compared to having a co-wife/ sharing a husband.  No matter how much you're reassured that you're loved, there will always be insecurities and comparisons.

*Validation is key!  When siblings are driving each other (and you) nuts, remember that
     -insisting upon good feelings between children mostly leads to bad feelings
       (ie. your son is telling you he hates his sister, you tell him he loves her, he just gets more angry)
     - acknowledging bad feelings mostly leads to good feelings
       (ie. your son is telling you he hates his sister, you acknowledge the fact he is frustrated she broke         his lego creation, he feels validated and he more easily moves on)

*To be loved equally is somehow to be loved less.  To be loved uniquely - for one's own special self - is to be loved as much as we need to be loved.
      (ie. when your child asks who you love the most and you say you love them all the same, they              naturally feel inadequate.  But to point out you love that certain child for such and such a reason          would make them feel more special and recognized as an individual)

Once again, I highly recommend this book for anyone with more than one child.  Enjoy!

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