Thursday, October 16, 2014

30 Tips in Implementing Islamic Parenting

[I dont have the reference for this article but it was sent to me and I wanted to share]

Every parent desires that his child should grow up to be a pious, upright and productive individual.  This does not happen by mere wishful thinking, rather a concerted effort needs to be made.  There are two aspects of parenting:  effort and result.  We need to make the correct effort and leave the result to Allah. We should not be overly concerned about the result or neglect the effort. 

Parenting is a full-time job.  So much of children's time is spent outside the home and away from parents, that parents think their only responsibility is feeding them, clothing them and looking after their monetary needs.

1.  The most effective parenting method is leading by example.
2.  Upbringing is the result of effort by both parents.
3.  A happy relationship between the parents is essential for the child's proper upbringing.  Children who grow up in a household where parents constantly fight and argue, often slide into a shell and develop a distaste for their parents company.
4. If the mindset of upbringing children is purely materialistic, we are bound to stray from religious objectives and goals.  Do not fulfill all the wishes of the child or else he/she will become spoiled and grow up with the belief that they should get everything they want.
5.  Inculcate  in them the love for simplicity and hatred for pomp and grandeur.  
6.  Show them the consequences of greed, wastage and unnecessary spending of money.
7.  Teach them to be satisfied with adequate portions of wholesome and healthy food.  Never encourage overeating and junkfood.  Treats should be saved for special occasions and not be indulged in on a daily basis. Much of today's poor health is a result of overeating on a regular basis.
8.  Instilling Hayaa (shame and modesty) in one's children is essential. The current day environment and secular institutes in particular aim to destroy this natural hayaa by bombarding them with constant images of shamelessness and immodesty.  Most children have become immune to immorality, violence and other major sins as a result. 
9.  Encourage them to wake up early and sleep after Isha.  Establish a daily routine of ibadaat, study and play for them.  Avoid allowing them to stay up late into the night.
10.  Teach children to refrain from doing acts which are displeasing to Allah and against the Sunnah, no matter what the circumstances may be.  Instill in them that obedience to Allah is above obedience to anyone else.
11.  Boys should be encouraged to work hard and help look after their parents and siblings.  Girls should be taught to upkeep a home, look after the young and learn basic skills necessary for running a home.  In the upbringing of girls and boys, always be conscious of their different roles in life.  Negligence in this regard has resulted in many young marriages falling apart.
12.  Win your children over with constant love and attention.  If he/she does not find it from the parents, they may go looking for it in haraam places.
13.  When the child does something wrong, correct him/her in private in a soft and persuasive manner.  If they repeat the act, punish them appropriately.  
14.  Punishment is necessary in certain circumstances.  Do not refrain from all forms of punishment because of excessive love for the child.  The child needs to learn that there are consequences to face for unacceptable behaviour.  One effective form of punishment is to deprive him of privileges or making him abstain from something he likes to do.
15.  Never punish them when you are angry.
16.  Spend quality time with the children on a daily or weekly basis.  Experience their joys and sorrows with them, do daily chores with them and help them with their school work.  
17.  Daily read stories of the Sahaabah and pious people with them.
18.  Screen their use of the television, internet and social networks.  Never allow them to have unlimited use of the internet or a television in their bedrooms.
19.  Good habits need to be instilled from a young age and bad ones corrected before they become ingrained.
20.  The child should be accustomed to doing salaat, dua and dhikr from a young age.
21.  Ensure that the child receives good islamic education.  Many muslim parents go out of their way to establish grounds for their secular studies, yet they sorely neglect their islamic education.  
22.  Embedd the love of Allah Ta'ala and Rasullulah (sallaahu alayhi wasallam) in their hearts.
23.  Don't ever feel that 'my child is an angel' and can never do anything wrong.  Make him/her admit their mistakes and apologize when necessary.
24.  Unislamic speech and other behaviours should be corrected before they are allowed to develop into habit.
25.  Particular attention to be given to children's clothing.  The way a child dresses has a positive or negative affect on his/her thinking and outlook.  Tight fitting clothes or clothes which emulate those of immoral people, should be actively dissuaded.  
26.  Respect and good manners to elders, relatives, teachers and fellow citizens in general should be constantly ingrained in one's children.
27.  Talking back and shouting should never be tolerated by parents.
28.  One of the major defects in today's society is the lack of humility in people.  Social media has made pride, ego and self glorification a 'good characteristics' in a person.  A child needs to be kept in check of growing arrogance and pride in himself/herself.
29.  The habit of doing one's own work should be inculcated in the child so that he does not become lazy and dependent on others.
30.  Make constant dua for the children and never curse them.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Simple Machines Cont'd

The boys continued their simple machines unit with Pops yesterday.  MashaAllah they're really enjoying it and learning alhamdulillah.  
For the print out, click here. 

Instilling Humility into Children

A humble person is not someone who thinks he's nothing. He knows he's something, but he recognizes God as the source of his greatness. Thinking one is something without recognizing God as the source leads to arrogance.


We want to teach our children that they are special, talented, skilled, and everything wonderful, but we also want to teach them that all these are a gift from God.

Children should take pleasure in their accomplishments, not pride. Your son could have used his physical ability and strength to be a bully in the schoolyard, but instead chose to participate and excel in sports. Your daughter's academic accomplishments means she used the brain that God gave her for something good. Both children should take great pleasure in that.


Since the humble person recognizes his inner strengths, he has the confidence to recognize greatness in others. An arrogant 10-year-old thinks he's better than his friends, because (for example) he is such a great reader, whereas the child who has humility knows he's a great reader but also recognizes that other kids are good at things like sports, math, science and history.

It's the small-minded person who puts others down. Really big people make others feel big too. We all want our children to know and appreciate who they are, and to respect others.


If I'm not an electrician, I cannot tell my electrician how to rewire my socket. I could make suggestions, of course, in a polite and modest  manner, as in, "Excuse me Mr. Electrician, is it possible that you forgot to put the connector wire in the socket?" Since the electrician is the expert in this situation, it's right of me to ask him, rather than to tell him. It would be rude and out of place for me to tell him how to do his job.

A child must respect the experience, knowledge and maturity of those who are older than he is. This attitude can be instilled in our children by teaching them three simple words: "Is it possible…?"

For example, when a mother is trying to help her daughter with her math homework and makes an error, her daughter, instead of saying, MUM, YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG!" should say, "Is it possible you're making a mistake, Mum?"

"Is it possible…?" turns vocabulary that is arrogant into a vocabulary that shows respect for a parent. This is an invaluable tool for building humility.


A final aspect of humility is the ability to admit our errors.

The arrogant person can do no wrong, while the humble person admits his mistakes freely. More importantly, the humble person always keeps in mind the possibility that he could be mistaken. The arrogant person accuses others of having done wrong without any evidence. The humble person asks in a polite manner.


1: The best way to our teach children is by example. 

An arrogant person can never teach humility. Since being a parent means we're in a position of authority, it's easy to slip into arrogance. "HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY ME!" is not the right way to react to a child who is not listening. Our job is to teach patiently and respectfully. The very manner in which we deal with our children's misbehavior can be one of the strongest tools for teaching humility. When we educate quietly, without yelling or insulting, we model humility.

Children are people too, even when they disobey you. Speak gently, maintain your dignity and theirs. If you think that the only way they will listen is if you yell, then you are not disciplining properly.

2: Kids should ask, not tell.

Parents must not only model behavior, they must also verbally teach it. When a child raises his voice to a parent, he must be corrected. Teach your children two rules: ask instead of tell, and speak in a pleasant tone of voice.

The three magic words are: "Is it possible…?" The question helps to foster humility in a child. It is important that children realize that adults, particularly parents, have a different status than children. Adults have more experience, knowledge, and authority than children. It is beneficial for children to look up to, rather than across, at adults. It enables them to learn the art of learning from others. An arrogant child can't learn from anyone.

3: Don't tolerate disrespectful speech.

The young child who is rude and disrespectful will grow into an even ruder teen who may actually swear and curse his parents. These behaviors don't arrive suddenly with puberty. They develop many years earlier from unchecked arrogance.

The following five-step program will help correct speech errors and foster respect and humility. Start with the first step and only proceed to the next one if necessary:

  • TEACH the child what you mean by "respectful" speech. Use examples and role-playing.
  • REMIND the child to use respectful speech and model it for him.
  • PROMPT the child during occurrences of disrespectful speech with: "tone of voice," or "speaking quietly please," or give the child the first few words: "Mummy, is it possible you forgot…?"
  • BLOCK disrespectful speech with: "Would you like to try that again more respectfully please?" As soon as the child corrects himself, the parent offers generous praise.
  • DISCIPLINE if necessary. When the child speaks disrespectfully, the parent might say something like, "We've been working on speaking respectfully for quite a while now and I think you know what you're supposed to do. From now on, if you raise your voice, use impolite words or demand instead of ask, you will have to write out the rules of respectful speech ten times." (You can choose another suitable consequence, of course.)
  • When teaching a child to speak with greater humility and respect, be patient! It can take many years for children to really integrate these speech patterns into their automatic behaviors. Consistency on the part of parents greatly speeds up the process and leads to an overall positive relationship.

As your child grows and learns to speak in a respectful manner, he or she will naturally come to speak to everyone like that — to adults and to peers. Humility will become a way of life. You, the parent, will have given your child a priceless gift, the gift of humility.

Article adapted from Sarah Rad


I had some homework planned for the boys before we go out today... but they got caught up in some serious Lego building, which I totally don't mind. I LOVE when they play with Lego.  Love love love Lego = )

Monday, October 13, 2014

Teacher Pops and Simple Machines

Today Pops started doing some science lessons on simple machines with the boys.  MashaAllah they're learning things that I don't even know. And alhamdulilalh they have the extra advantage of having some bonding time with their Pops.

Right now they are making a workbook. Click here for the print out.
They are also going to do this one.  Click here.
Once they're done, and if they haven't tired Pops out too much, Ill let them play this game.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Langkawi - Mangroves

Ibby's journal entry for Mangrove trip 
Naani and Pops <3

Fam Pic

Shells!  They were amazing mashallah

Checkin out the monkies

Our tour guide.  He was awesome.  Taught us so many interesting things like:
-If you're ever lost in the jungle, do what monkeys do.  What makes them sick will make us sick and what they can eat, we can eat.  Follow them and drink the water they drink as well.
-Horn bill birds are monogamous.  If one partner dies, the other partner will stay beside them and basically just wait there for death.
-When female eagles are looking for mates, they look for smaller males since they will be more agile and able to defend them from predators.
-The mangroves are trees that grow in the water, they have a filter system to take the salt out of the water.  When you open the stem it looks like a cigarette filter and serves the same purpose.  For any salt that does enter the plant, it shifts the salt to one selected leaf and then that leaf eventually falls off.
-Vipers are very venomous, however they are blind and deaf and move quite slowly.
-There were jelly fish in the water.

Cant think of anything else. But subhanallah it was really an amazing experience.  We were out on the water for about three hours (with two breaks). Alhamdulilah kids were very well behaved and really enjoyed it as well.

Pops enjoying the ride

Baba taking a picture of the viper.  I didn't get a very good picture. 

Naani n Pops

The cave we were going to drive through, but the tide was too high so we weren't able to

At the bat cave

The tour guide talking about bats


More bats!

Inside the cave

Baby monkey

The guys about to walk through the bat cave and through water.  My mom, Summaiya and I went the other way so we wouldn't have to walk through water

Going through

Fam pic

Back at the beach

Watching the sunset at the beach

Yusuf's journal entry for our Mangrove tip

Langkawi - Snorkeling

Alhamdulillah we had a really nice family vacation with the grandparents to an island in Malaysia called Langkwawi.  MashaAllah it was awesome :)

Boarding the plane for the one hour flight

On the plane with Naani

Playing chess in the hotel room

Yusuf coming down the waterslide

Ibby and Pops coming down the slide

Monkeys outside our hotel room in the morning

On the boat off to a smaller island

My three snorkeling babies

Pops n Yusuf

Naani Summaiya and Momma... and Yusufs head

Looking at the fish.  There were TONS!  Including some baby sharks.

Pops feeding the fish

Naani, Pops, the boys and the fish

The beach we were at 

The water was crystal clear mashaAllah!

Baba n the boys on the way back 

Coming off the boat

Yusuf's journal entry for our snorkeling trip.
Ibby's journal entry for our snorkeling tip